I know, I know, it’s been a bit over a month since my last post. Believe my it has been quite the adventure and I have good reason to have not written sooner. We, the baby and I, have been hospitalized 5 times and always on a Friday. It seems this little Pnut likes Happy Hour, complete with a cocktail consisting of two bags of IV fluids and Procardia, add to that 3 hours of observation and you have our typical Friday night. So much fun I tell you, this one is definitely keeping us on our toes.
The roller coaster ride these days have been filled with thrills and chills. I feel like I’ve been through one loop-di-loop after another with no break in between. As of last Friday however, we are headed onto the section of the ride where I can see the track before me. I’ve been sent home with my own prescription of Niphedipine to help stop the contractions once they set in, as well as, a new delivery date.
We are now looking at exactly two weeks from today and a delivery at 36 weeks gestation.I can say that this is really great news. Baby will be just shy of full term, by one week and he will most likely not have to go to the NICU, and if so, for a mere week or so. I’ll take that over the 3 months and a few days with Boo. I have already been given steroids so the babys lungs should be fully mature. That means that this Pnut will be delivered exactly 3 months later than Boo was delivered in the gestational calendar. Definitely a miracle for us.
Truthfully, I wasn’t quite sure how to handle the emotions I have been dealing with. The flashbacks to my months in the NICU with Boo, the idea of anything and everything going wrong with this new baby. It’s been up and down, tears and laughter and a ton of mixed emotion and concern. I’ve realized, I at times, just need to internalize my feelings, deal with my emotions and then verbalize. Being an only child with a crazy family, I’ve learned not to lean on others but rather to try and heal myself. Not always the best solution, but the one that I know best.
I have also learned to accept that my body is just not cut out for pregnancy, either that, or my boys are just eager to meet their friends and family. Either way, we have decided this will be our second and last child, which is perfectly fine by me. A happy healthy family of four fits the bill in my eyes. I have a beautiful Boo and what I can only imagine will be another beautiful baby who will light my life up even more than I can imagine.
So as I sit here on bed rest for the next two weeks I find myself learning to welcome, with open arms, the cards of life and how they are dealt. I am taking the time to really enjoy some time with Boo and our little family of three. Finding the contentment needed to allow myself to embrace my body for what it does and thank it for the amazing miracle of life that has been given to me not once, but now twice. While lastly, I have found myself happy to be nesting away, washing and folding and refolding the babys clothes, writing thank you notes for my amazing shower and enjoying a little me time before getting on the next roller coaster…A brand new newborn at home and the idea of a beautiful family of four.
‘Til next time….